Sunday Snippet: Good for the Soul

Bleh. It's been a week of frustration, and I can't really explain why. I hate it when I feel like everything is either standing in my way or that I'm stuck in reverse with zero forward momentum. Maybe August has just been a bit of a rough month even when there were fun things happening. Who knows?

Not a terrible weather week. The temperatures were fairly mild for August. I'll enjoy that while I can because it's supposed to heat up again this week.

I was supposed to head out for an annual get together with my cousins but ended up not being able to go because I didn't feel well at all. And next year I do believe I have a wedding on the weekend we usually get together so I'll be sending pictures from the ceremony to my fam!

Work projects kept me busy again. I finished up a copy edit and started a proofread. I also finally got all the images stripped from the developmental manuscript. Whew! There were a lot of them. I also scheduled a call with a potential new author and I'm excited to see where that goes.

Had an okay viewing week. I made it through all of my regular shows and binged Death in Paradise and Beyond Paradise again. They're my comfort go-to shows at the moment. I also spend some time watching a documentary about Dolly Parton to help ease the sting of losing the wonderful light she spread around the world.

Started with Marple again and I really do enjoy this version of the show. It was interesting to have something of a different narrator for the episode. The mystery ended up being twisty as usual.

Began a new series with Britain's Most Scenic Counties and visited Kent. I think there are several more episodes in that county, and I'm looking forward to seeing them.

Watched another episode of Beyond Paradise. I love Martha and Esther's friendship. They're so much fun. I'm very interested in where things go with Anne and her cryptic mention of the delicate situation with Mr. Smith. I have a great fear she might be dating him and that will suck majorly. I do love that Humphrey basically unloaded about the situation. Looking forward to a resolution about that. Also … Kelby blasted Margo kind of broke my heart but kudos to him for standing up for himself.

Enjoyed another Poirot episode. The mystery ended up being super twisty and I love how Poirot got very emotional during the reveal. Betrayal never sits well but it really stabs hard when it happens to Hercule.

Elementary had another great episode. I'm really wondering what's going to happen when Sherlock realizes his support person is a murderer. Or maybe it'll be a big twist, and he won't end up being a murderer. Either way, I'm very interested in what happens next.

Watched another episode of Young Justice, and I don't remember any of this one. A truly gut-wrenching watch. Loved the little bits of random characters popping up!

Caught another episode of Star Trek Lower Decks and I'm going to miss this show when I'm done. I seriously didn't know if I liked the show in the first season and now I'd pretty much die for these characters if needed. Ther really should be more seasons for me to enjoy.

As mentioned, I watched the beginning of a documentary about Dolly, and I hope to finish it this week … unless it's been taken down. I also watched quite a few music videos. What an amazing woman.

That's it for the life update this week. Tonight's post is from Good for the Soul, a novella that explores the fallout from a character taking a dark turn and the redemption he finds with the love of his life.

Here's the miniblurb:

Dex Thurgood has ideals he upholds and wants to keep it that way. But when he's forced to confront a sinister underground trade leader, he has to face his darker nature to bust up the extortion racket, which won't be easy because Ramsey Markum knows one of Dex's deeply buried secrets. Lana Denman steps up to help Dex deal with the fallout of not being perfect.

And a sneaky peek…

Two weeks before the attacks, he'd walked away from Erica after she'd told him she carried his child. He hadn't been ready. Needed time to get his head around the idea. He never had the chance.

He didn’t think Lana would get where his head had been back then. Or understand the reason he'd told Erica he'd be financially responsible but couldn't—wouldn't—be more. And he was selfish enough to know he couldn’t survive the loss of Lana.

Yet it wouldn't be fair to hold back. "And it's Lana … if anyone understands screwing up so badly it's hard to live in your own skin, she does." Even if it would be damned uncomfortable talking about his demons.

But he took Darcene's advice and tracked Lana down.

He found her catching some rack time, but her curtain remained open, so he nudged her awake. "Are you still willing to listen? I have a story I need to tell." He held her gaze, refusing to give in to temptation and stare at his feet instead.

When she’d slid over giving him space, he crawled up into the bunk and sat at the opposite end facing her. Lana slid the fabric panels shut, closing out the bunkroom, and settled back to hear what he had to say. The intimate atmosphere cocooned them, giving him the courage to be brutally honest.

And just like she’d once confessed her sins to him, about leaving Mac behind because she didn't think he could handle field combat, Dex laid out all his transgressions for her. Every last one of them.

He started at the beginning. "Before Erica died in the crash, she told me she was pregnant. And I wasn't ready for fatherhood." He might never be ready.

Lana gave a small nod.

Dex followed with another revelation. "I gave up after I ejected. I purposefully let my oxygen run out because I didn’t think it was worth it to live in a world where murder was the way to deal with a superior officer." He paused. "My only regret is letting you down and not having your back." He should've fought for that reason alone.

Lana's eyes narrowed and her lips pressed together, but she didn't speak. She gave him the space to get everything out there.

Dex didn’t leave anything out. "After the medics brought me back, I … felt disconnected and sought something simple and uncomplicated. Human contact and physical release. I couldn't really handle anything else. Darcene filled that void. She made it easy to spill secrets and regrets." He huffed out a breath. "And, of course, that blew up in my face." He sighed. "Then I got the order to track down the leader of the black market. Running into Ramsey Markum and seeing the evil shit he did finally made me understand where Dad and Chancellor Robbins were coming from with the order to assassinate Zemicks."

His stomach churned with what he'd reveal next. But he wouldn't stop now. Lana needed to know it all.

He met her gaze again. "I'm the one that pulled the trigger. I shot him point blank and didn't care." When he finished, he waited for her to say something.

To tell him to get away from her.

She shocked him when she looked at him thoughtfully for a few moments before leaning closer and grasping his palms.

She finally spoke. "Feel better now?"

Stunned, he blinked a few times. He’d just confessed to killing a man in cold blood and she asked if he felt better. Nothing else?

He shook his head. "You don’t hate me?" Her lack of reaction gave him hope but also confused the hell out of him.

This one is getting closer to being finished, but it needs more polish. Dex and Lana are hard to write but their journey is so rewarding.

 

That's it for this week. Catch everyone on the flipside.

ML Skye

Sunday Snippet: Good for the Soul

Still chugging along on various work projects, but I'm at the in-between stages on a few. I like having some free time to focus on writing.

Not a bad week for viewing television. I had to create a workaround for one of the shows I watch, but I'm happy I managed to remember how to set things up.

Caught another episode of Fantasy Island and, wow, I love the unexpected surprise. I'm cautiously optimistic the reveal won't trash things between Elena and Rafael. I'm not holding my breath though. One of the writers is known to mess things up to ramp up the angst factor.

Watched another episode of Strangest Things. I'm always interested in the ancient things they review, but I'm also fascinated by the crazy contraptions featured.

Enjoyed another episode of Classic Rugrats. The puns and play on words are always fun. One of the greatest things about this show is the appeal to all age groups.

I finally finished the Passionflix original, Resisting Roots. I ended up really liking this one. It's not quite as steamy as some of the other movies, but I'm okay with that.

Caught another episode of Madame Blanc Mysteries. Enjoyed this one. Very glad Dom is back in good form.

Watched another episode of Cannes Confidential. I love this show! Camille and Harry are fun, and the underlying, sinister vibe is present but also subtle. Such a great show.

Continued my rewatch of Battlestar Galactica. This week we did a double header of "Resurrection Ship Part One and Two". The next few episodes are solid, but the show stumbles a little leading up to the season two finale. Too many threads that needed some loving care got dropped.

I also started another episode of Peak Practice and need to finish that one up later tonight.

That's it for this week's life update. Tonight's post is from Good for the Soul, a novella that explores how a character tries to hold himself accountable and struggles when he can't.

Here's the mini-blurb:

Dex Thurgood has ideals he upholds and wants to keep it that way. But when he's forced to confront a sinister underground trade leader, he has to face his darker nature to bust up the extortion racket, which won't be easy because Ramsey Markum knows one of Dex's deeply buried secrets. Lana Denman steps up to help Dex deal with the fallout of not being perfect.

And a sneaky peek…

Hate him? Not in this lifetime.

Sighing softly, Lana replied. “Confession’s not about making people hate you, Dex.” How could she explain this to him? “It’s about catharsis. So you can live with the wrong you’ve done.” Tilting her head, she gave him a moment to absorb what she said. “Did you hate me when I told you about Mac? Did you walk away?” She sat up and drew her feet under her legs crossways.

She had him there … he didn’t hate her for Mac … but she’d made her confession on the day their world ended … slightly different. But then again, not really. And, okay, he had walked away … well … technically ejected … but he always took time and space to process things.

When he opened his mouth to argue, she shook her head. “You’ve never let me down.”

Dex looked away from her. “I wasn’t there for you.”

He cringed at the unpleasant sound she made at that statement.

She rolled her eyes. “Turns out you didn’t have to be. The chancellor called off the mission, remember?” Leaning forward, she pinned him with her gaze. “You’re willing to screw your personal ethics, leave 'em behind and that’s not enough? I’m supposed to be pissed you almost died and weren’t there? God, Dex.” She leaned back in frustration, letting her eyes drop to her lap.

“Lana, I—" He stopped.

Yeah, he what? Had no idea what to say? Why did he always make things so hard?

Confusion marred his features … and, damn if she didn't know exactly what he felt like. It sucked when life kicked someone in the teeth … made them lose hope … hell it made a person lose who they were sometimes. She'd been there, more than a few times, but not Dex. He didn't have the benefit of being comfortable with one foot on the edge of right and wrong and the other somewhere deep in the muck.

Scrambling across the bed, she crawled over his legs and settled down on his lap.

Grabbing his hands in hers, she tried explaining it. “Look, Dex. I get it. I really do.” She waited until she had his eyes before going on. “We all have shit we drag around. Mistakes. Screw-ups. Crap we’re not proud of.” Her lips quirked up, but she quickly got serious again. “It’s easy to do the right thing … what’s hard, really hard, is living with the wrong. Do you get that?” Again, she waited … holding his gaze before letting go and moving her hands up to cup his face. “Tell me you get that now.”

He gave a slow nod. "I think maybe I do."

She rested her forehead against his. "Finally."

Lana is a fun character. She's not into seeing only black and white. Her world is filled with shades of gray.

 

That's it for this week. Catch everyone on the flipside.

ML Skye

Sunday Snippet: Good for the Soul

We're almost to the end of August and it's been a month. I'm glad we're closing in on the last quarter of the year. 2020 definitely provided a roller coaster ride. And we're not quite through yet.

Had a solid week of work and reorganizing. Made some terrific progress on the office clean out. Got two of my six bookcases put together and shredded a bunch of old stuff I don't need to keep anymore. I still have a buttload of shredding to do but progress is progress.

Got a little bit of viewing done this week, mostly Danger Man episodes. I wanted to finish season three then realized there are only two episodes of season four. I'm disappointed.

I also did a couple of marathon viewings on Ovation. The morning mysteries are a lot of fun and the Monday block of A Place to Call Home is pretty good also. I also caught Partners in Crime, which ended up being better than I thought.

That's pretty much it for television. Tonight's post is from Good for the Soul, a novella that got a start with a writing community prompt.

Here's the mini-blurb:

Dex Thurgood has ideals he upholds and wants to keep it that way. But when he's forced to confront a sinister underground trade leader, he has to face his darker nature to bust up the extortion racket, which won't be easy because Ramsey Markum knows one of Dex's deeply buried secrets. Lana Denman steps up to help Dex deal with the fallout of not being perfect.

And a sneaky peek…

Sitting in the transport, Dex observed Leon's open-mouthed awe as the child stared intently out the window. Amazed at his resilience, he seemed to have bounced back from the last few days relatively unscathed. Dex hoped the arrangements he’d made for Darcene and her son were part of the something good. The duo would head to Queen City where Darcene would oversee helping other families in the same situation as hers.

Darcene unbuckled her safety harness and moved to the seat next to him. "You haven't said much and I didn't want to ask in front of Leon, but Ramsey's dead isn't he?"

Dex slid his gaze toward her and nodded. "Yeah." He adjusted the straps on his restraint.

She placed her hand on his forearm. "I'm sorry. For dragging you into this, for telling him about Erica, for, well, everything. You trusted me and I let you down."

"No, you didn't. Markum already knew about Erica. Used to be in business with her father back when he kept a foot in the legitimate world."

Clearly surprised, Darcene commented. "I still gave him the information. Or at least confirmed it."

Dex shook his head. "Look. You didn't have much choice. I get that." He looked back at Leon again. "Don't be twisted up over it."

His driver gave him a heads-up. "Arriving in five, sir."

Dex motioned for Darcene to strap in again. He settled back and listened to the driver request clearance.

When they entered the base, Darcene held Leon's hand along with the boy's small overnight bag. It contained the medication that put Darcene in dire financial straits and prompted her to work off the payment in trade.

She stopped just outside the transport. "You did a good thing. Some of us have a chance now."

Dex shrugged. "There were other ways. I could've chosen a different option." He frowned. "Instead I went with the easiest option." Things always went wrong when he took the easy route.

Darcene tsked. "Perhaps, you think so." Her gaze swept the activity in the huge garage. "And maybe you're feeling the weight of your decision, but others wouldn't. So many of them wouldn't give a damn about a woman and her kid or how they ended up in our situation." Turning to face him, she met his gaze and arched a brow. "And ask yourself this—could you live with yourself if another child got used?" She lowered her voice, hoping to keep Leon from hearing.

Dex didn't have an answer. He had trouble living with right now.

"It would've gotten worse, Dex. You stopped Markum before it could." Her free hand reached out and clasped his. "That does mean something."

He still didn't respond. Couldn't at the moment. Too many thoughts crowded his head.

Darcene flashed Dex an understanding smile. “Go to her, Dex.” She paused and Leon tugged at her sleeve so they could leave. “Give her a chance to fill the empty spots.” Leaning forward, she kissed his cheek. “What more do you have to lose?” Turning, she let her excited son lead her toward the petty officer who waited to show them to quarters.

Darcene had pegged things both right and wrong. Right in that he didn’t have anything else to lose. His ideals were gone. By killing Ramsey, Dex had compromised himself to the point he had no room to judge others. The chancellor, his father, Lana. Things weren’t as black and white as they used to be.

If nothing else, getting to the bottom of the black market showed him how much the shades of gray saved as well as how much they cost. Just how compromised they all were. Every last one of them.

He got it now. He really did.

And oddly, he could live with the new reality he faced … maybe more so now after everything else that had happened.

The part he worried about living with? Telling Lana. Everything. Because the drama went way back … to before the attacks. And he sort of understood where she'd been coming from now … the guilt she had over Mac … for not letting him go out as soon as the battle started. He'd been the first casualty … and Dex's best friend. She considered his death on her head.

I know the feeling. But he'd buried his guilt. Deep.

This story keeps taking twists and turns I didn't expect. It's actually a mess right now, but I've got a block of time scheduled to tear it all apart and piece it back together.

That's it for this week. Catch everyone on the flipside.

ML Skye

Sunday Snippet: Good for the Soul

Ugh. This has been a rough week. A nasty stomach virus worked its way through the entire family. So glad we're all back to being semi-normal.

Looking forward to catching Talking with Chris Hardwick tonight. I'm excited to see what he brings to the screen each week.

Legends of Tomorrow had a solid finale. I look forward to seeing how the team deals with the time quakes. Awesome to see Mick pretty much choose his side.

Riverdale keeps getting better and better. I love this show. Watching Archie screw things up makes me happy. It's nice to have a character who gets to grow and change… as long as he actually gets to do both.

Finished up season three of City Homicide and got a start on season four. I'd forgotten how much I didn't like Rhys. Can't remember if he ended up growing on me or not. Took a small break to rewatch Pitch Perfect and do my happy chair dance while viewing.

That's it for television this week. Tonight's post is from Good for the Soul, a novella where my main characters realize love is good for the soul.

Here's the mini-blurb:

Dex Thurgood has ideals he upholds and wants to keep it that way. But when he's forced to confront a sinister underground trade leader, he has to face his darker nature to bust up the extortion racket, which won't be easy because Ramsey Markum knows one of Dex's deeply buried secrets. Lana Denman steps up to help Dex deal with the fallout of not being perfect.

And a sneaky peek…

With his past staring him in the face, Dex dug in and refused to bend. Ramsey could do what he wanted with the information. Dex couldn't give a shit anymore. The guilt nearly ate him alive anyway. If Ramsey shared the information, maybe Dex could move the fuck on and put that dark decision in the past. He and Erica started out great. They had fun and enjoyed each other's company. And the sex couldn't be better.

Until Erica used it as a weapon.

By the time Dex realized he and Erica did not make a good fit, she told him about the pregnancy. He reacted to the news with stone-cold silence. A baby wouldn't fit in his life, and he couldn't be the type of father he'd want to be. Erica knew. They'd talked about it. She'd heard his deepest concerns about trying to raise a child, yet not being there due to deployment or getting stationed somewhere a family wouldn't thrive. Did Erica think he'd be overjoyed? Far from it, Dex had the horrible thought she'd done it on purpose, to bind them, and keep him in her life. Had she known he'd lost interest? That he'd found someone he wanted more? Did her instincts warn her or had he given her some kind of indication about his swiftly changing feelings?

Erica interrupted his stream of consciousness. "Dex? What do you want to do? About the baby?"

He honestly couldn't answer. He didn't have one. Erica laid a hand on his knee and he felt trapped. Smothered. Penned in.

"Dex? Did you hear me?" She punched his leg. "The baby? What should we do?"

Disentangling himself, he put some space between them. "I, uh, I don't know." He wanted to bolt. Run. Hop a transport off planet.

Erica frowned. "What do you mean, you don't know? You don't seem very happy."

His eyes widened. "Did you think I would be? I've got four more years in the service. You know how I feel about trying to raise a child when I'm active military."

Erica shrugged. "But, Dex, you could muster out. You don't have to stay in the service."

Her utter lack of comprehension made his head hurt. "Erica, you don't just leave the military. You have to have a reason, a damned good one, and a pregnant girlfriend does not qualify."

She frowned again. "But I thought—" She stopped, her gaze flying up to meet his.

She couldn't quite cover the flash of guilt.

Dex saw red. "Oh, hell no. You did it on purpose, didn't you?" How had he missed the manipulative side to her?

Erica tried to play her maneuver down. "Well, not really on purpose. I might've missed my birth control shot by a week, but I didn't plan it."

Dex shook his head. "Maybe you didn't plan to miss it, but you knew what could happen because you did. If you'd told me, I would've taken precautions." He shot her a look. "Or we could have skipped having sex until you were covered again."

Erica pouted. "But I didn't want to forego the sex." Her hand moved to his crotch. "I love your hard cock inside me."

Dex doubted it would ever get hard for her again. His dick certainly had no reaction to her current touch.

She jerked her hand away and he figured she realized the same. "I don't know why you're so pissy about it. It's a baby, Dex. You won't miss much. They don't do anything overly useful until they start school anyway."

Incredulous, Dex shook his head. A child amounted to a commodity to her. He'd rather not be involved at all.

Making a decision, he rose. "Do what you feel is best, Erica. If you continue the pregnancy, I'll support the decision and the kid."

Her lips thinned. "But you won't be around, will you?"

He held her gaze. "I'm deploying in two weeks. You knew that."

She stood up. "Not what I mean. You're not planning to be with me."

Dex gave a terse nod. "I'm sorry, but, no, I’m not."

Erica's eyes went cold and flat. "Nice. Knock me up and walk away. What a guy."

Dex didn't bother pointing out the flaw in her statement. He grabbed his hat and headed for the door. "Think what you want, Erica. I'll leave the base contact information with Smythe on my way out." He pushed the door open. "You can keep me informed via the main switchboard until I have a permanent post."

Erica lifted a slim shoulder. "Whatever, Dex. And by the way… your financial support won't be needed. You can't hold a stick to my father's money."

Dex snorted. "Never tried to, Erica. But I'll pay my fair share, either way."

She chose to ignore his assertion. Dex tucked his hat under his arm and left, wandering through the huge house to the butler's quarters. He left his military personnel details with the nonplussed man and took his leave.

Getting behind the wheel of his car, Dex breathed a resigned sigh. He hadn't expected the breakup to be easy, but the curve she'd thrown hadn't helped. By the time he pulled to the end of the drive, he questioned whether he'd made the right decision. A month after he deployed, he discovered he'd never find out. Erica had been killed in a car accident when she lost control of her vehicle. Smythe informed Dex she'd been driving at a high rate of speed and spun out around a sharp curve leading to the family's summer estate.

Dex's downward spiral will go out of control… unless someone checks his progress. Good thing there's a woman willing to do just that.

That's it for this week. Catch everybody of the flipside.

ML Skye

Sunday Snippet: Good for the Soul

Hello!

Okay, last night I watched the best season finale I've seen from a show in a long, long time. Orphan Black hit every right note over the ten episodes and it's going to be a seriously long hiatus until spring of 2014. GAH!

Tonight's post if from a novella entitled Good for the Soul. Dex Thurgood has some serious issues to work through and Lana Denman is around to help him out.

Here's the tagline:

Dex Thurgood has ideals he upholds and wants to keep it that way. But when he's forced to confront a sinister underground trade leader, he has to face his darker nature to bust up the extortion racket, which won't be easy because Ramsey Markum knows one of Dex's deeply buried secrets. Lana Denman steps up to help Dex deal with the fallout of not being perfect.

And the sneaky peek…

"You're not gonna do it. You won't shoot."

Ramsey Markum held court in the dank and musty dive where he ran the underground trade, flanked by henchmen on both sides.

Dex Thurgood held Markum's gaze, the gun steady in his hand. A stain on humanity, Ramsey had one thing right. Dex wouldn't shoot. Not under normal circumstances. At least he wouldn't have if he hadn't seen, first hand, the evil Markum carried and dispensed depending on the whim of his moods.

"You might be standing in the mud with the rest of us, but you've still got a bit of sheen on you." Markum's tone, smug and confident, grated. "You don't have it in you. You're not gonna shoot me—" 

Dex pulled the trigger. "Looks like you're wrong." Markum hit the floor, his face a frozen mask of disbelief.

The two henchmen, both practical and dispassionate, moved forward, ready to put Dex on the leader board.

Dex placed the side arm on the table and stepped back, shaking his head.

"No. I want no part of this." He looked from one guy to the other. "But the underground can't and won't go away. I get that. But this is how it works now. Ramsey is gone. You'll continue on, business as usual, with two exceptions."

Neither man offered up a protest and so far he had their interest. "No more child couriers. Don't pretend you don't know what usually happens to them most of the time. That ends now." He watched and waited until they acknowledged his words. "From this point on, no one else has to work your fees. Fair trade is one thing, slave labor is another." It turned his stomach to say that, but the system they used, distasteful as it could be, worked for most.

Dex flicked his gaze downward toward Ramsey. "If either of you try to hold anyone to previous agreements, we'll find someone better suited to the job." He looked at the men again. "Any questions?"

Both shook their heads back and forth. They'd be stupid to go against him. Dex pretty much handed them the entire underground trade on a platter. They only had to play fair in order to keep it.

Small price to pay if it kept their pipeline running.

He gave both a curt nod. "Then I suggest you take out the trash."

Dex waited until they dragged Ramsey's body out the side door before he turned on his heel and exited the bar. He kept his eyes straight ahead and put one foot in front of the other until he got to his transport. Safely inside, he crumpled onto the nearest seat and put his head in his hands.

How he'd maintained his equilibrium, he'd never know. He'd just killed a man—pretty much in cold blood. An evil one to be certain, but it didn't give him the right to act as judge, jury, and executioner. Yet he'd done exactly that.

Had he really become that numb?

No. He felt the weight of his decision take up residence in his bones. The cold ball of rage and anger still remained, coiled up tight, in his gut.

It would fade with time, but right now he used it to keep it together. He still had several things to accomplish. He might as well start now.

Heaving a sigh, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a portable headset. He spoke the number to Darcene's room and she answered before the first series of beeps completed.

"You're safe. Ramsey's not gonna be a problem anymore." He heard the relieved sigh on her end. "Get everything together for you and Leon. I'm on my way."

Dex ended the call. Didn't think he could listen to or accept any kind of gratitude from her. He'd made a promise to get Darcene and Leon out from under Ramsey's thumb and he had.

He'd see them safely to their new life and go back to his old one. The rest, mainly how he'd live with himself, he'd figure out later.

Poor Dex. His brain is all twisted with self-loathing and he'll have to get himself straightened out or Lana will do it for him. Dex might not like her methods. J

That's it for this week. Catch everyone on the flip!

ML Skye