Sunday, November 15, 2009

BREAKING NEWS

Greetings Blogorama Readers!

It's been a crazy 24 hours.

First of all, a ship the size of the Mythos makes chasing down anyone a daunting challenge. But I did it! I found Lieutenant Maggie Harper, better known as Magpie to her fellow pilots, in the galley of all places. She'd just filled a tray with loads of food, so I knew she'd stick around for a while.

I plopped down beside her and launched into a quick fire interview. Here's the down and dirty (completely uncensored):

SS: Lieutenant Harper, I appreciate your time and willingness to answer my questions.

MH: (after swallowing a huge bite of food) Yeah, well, make it fast. I still have to hit the showers and grab whatever sleep I can before we start quals in the morning.

SS: Right. No problem. First up, how do you combat the sensory overload from being surrounded by so many hot guys?

MH: Excuse me, what?

SS: Oh, come on. You all but trip over extremely attractive men every time you turn around. Do you find it all distracting? I know I would.

MH: Gads…who are you? And who the hell let you loose on the ship?

SS: Stella Snupe, Blog reporter for the Daily Dash. I, um, have some pull with one of the admirals behind this project.

At this point I believe Lt. Harper may have rolled her eyes, but it was hard to tell with all the noise and confusion of a new group of pilots lining up to binge one last time before strict rationing.

The lieutenant took several more bites of food before answering my original question.


MH: Okay, Ms. Snupe, for your information, the military is damn close to a 50/50 mix of men and women. I'm as much in danger of tripping over a woman as I am a man. Does that answer the question to your satisfaction?

SS: For now, thanks. You mentioned hitting the shower. Is there any possibility you'll be hooking up with someone -- male or female -- before, during or after?

I don't mind telling you, dear readers, I thought Lt. Harper might need emergency intervention. Apparently my question so completely threw her it made her choke and spew the rather large gulp of water she'd just swallowed. Needless to say, I gave her plenty of time to recover. I even handed her a napkin, to wipe her face.

MH: Stars above, you've got some guts, lady. First, no comment. Second, I'd dial the personal questions back if you don't want to get kicked off this ship. And third, if you've got 'pull' with an admiral, maybe you can interview him and find out why we're all out here doing mass preparedness crap when we've been in peace time for over 70 years.

SS: I'm sure I could, but nobody wants to know that. The public wants to know what's going on behind the scenes. You know, who's doing who and whether the sex is great or not.

MH: That's a truly sad statement and I guess you should consider me nobody. Because I'd really like to know. Especially since my flight qualifications are tied into this whole M-PAT thing. And while we're on the subject—

Unfortunately, Lt. Harper didn't finish what sounded like the beginning of a tirade. Her watch alarm beeped, signaling her turn to hit the showers. She abruptly ended the conversation, but not before I got one final answer out of her.

SS: Lieutenant? Do you know where I might be able to find Lieutenant Max Cutter? I'd really like to speak with him also.

Friends, I'm not sure if it was a trick of the lighting, but it looked to me like the beginnings of a grin might have curved over Maggie Harper's lips before she gave me an answer.

MH: You might find him running the circuit of the ship. He mentioned working out before turning in for night. Good luck with that.

And she left. No explanation as to what the 'circuit of the ship' meant or even a good bye, but that's okay. I'm sure some kind soul will be happy to point me in the right direction, after I complete this update.

Wish me luck, my faithful readers, I'm off to wrangle an interview with the very eligible (rumor has it anyway) Lt. Max Cutter.

Stay tuned!

The Skipper

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